**This is a very long post, as it’s for my memory. It’s also a birth story, and as such, has details about birth. Disclaimer!**

As I write this, a very sacred moment is happening in my house. All three boys are sleeping and I’m awake. So naturally, I’m drinking coffee, eating chocolate and taking the opportunity to write out Ben’s birth story before I forget the details.

May 26th

Thursday, May 26th, four days after my due date, I decided it was time to have the baby. I heard of something called “the midwife cocktail” that my good friend has used twice to jump start labor, so I thought I’d try it. I went to work and was waiting to get the ok from my midwife to take it. They said it was fine, so around lunchtime I went home and drank it. About an hour afterwards, I threw it up all over our house, haha! I also didn’t follow the instructions exactly, which is probably why. BUT after that I started having contractions, but they were very frequent and short and stopped after two hours.

May 27th

The next morning I woke up and decided to try this squat “dance” thing I read about online. Totally ridiculous, but I was desperate at this point. You basically rub your belly for a minute to stimulate braxton hicks, and then start squatting and squat walking for three minutes. Quite a workout! Well a few minutes after I stopped that (around 7am) the contractions started again! They were coming about 6-7 minutes apart. I was strategically breathing through them and hoping they’d grow in frequency and consistency… and they did!

Jack was all over me and trying to sit on top of me while I was going through contractions, so amazing Kelly came over and got him for us around 10am. I knew I should eat something hearty, so I asked Josh to go get us some breakfast burritos from Red Mesa Mercado (which by the way are soooo good).

We ate that and I continued working through my contractions, laying down mostly, but went for a little walk around the block and paced through our house, as I noticed that helped them become more frequent. Later on Josh came in our room and would time my contractions and we listened to a Radiolab podcast about color.

Around 2pm I started thinking about going to the birth center. I called them at some point to give them a heads up that I thought today would be the day. The contractions were starting to get more intense, and I kept thinking about not wanting to endure the 30 minute car ride there with even more intense contractions.

We ended up heading there around 3pm and called my mom to meet us there. When we got there, Cindy, one of the midwives, checked me and told me I was further along than I was at my appointment on Tuesday, but there was still a ways to go. She gave me the option to stay and walk around to try to keep things going, or go home. I told her I wanted to stay, but that I felt kind of discouraged. But then my mom came in and asked how dilated I was and I was 4-5 cm! Then I was less discouraged, because that’s how dilated I was when I came in with Jack.

So I walked around outside for a while and then back inside to pace since it’s so hot already. I started laying down again because they were getting more intense, and then decided to get in the tub. I was putting all my concentration on relaxing as much as possible through each contraction, and breathing “up” to make the most of each one. I guess it worked, because by about 6pm I was 8cm dilated.

I got out of the tub because I felt like I’d be pushing soon and with Jack I passed out 3 times after getting out of the tub giving birth to him, so I wanted to deliver not in the water. I decided this all in the moment!

I got out and went through some more contractions, and then my body just kind of took over at one point and started pushing. My water broke shortly after I started pushing. (With Jack it didn’t break until he came out!)

I heard a lot that giving birth the second time is easier, and getting through the contractions was, but man, pushing him out was very intense! There was a lot of pressure, and it felt like it took forever for his head to come out, but I know it probably wasn’t that long. I probably pushed for about 30 minutes, maybe a bit longer. Once his head came out, his body slid right out and he was on my chest!

Josh was sitting behind me on the birth stool supporting me and we saw our little boy for the first time. He was (and still is) perfect. The most surreal feeling meeting the little one you’ve been talking about and thinking about and feeling in your belly for so long. He was so very tiny. We held him and eventually cut his cord.

Our tiny Benjamin Truth Warner was born at 6:52pm on May 27th, 2016 (five days past his due date). He weighed 6lbs, 8.5 oz and was 19.5 inches long.

While my lower half was attended to, I got to hold my sweet baby and he started nursing like a champ. Then Mr. Jack Bravery came to meet his brother with our friend Kelly.

He was somewhat interested, but more enamored with the environment we were in and the oxygen tank he saw on the ground. He touched baby Ben a few times and crawled around on the bed. He gave me huge long snuggles before he left. I was nursing and so couldn’t really hold him, but Kelly held him while he hugged my neck for a long time before they left. It was really sweet.

We laid in the bed for a while and talked. I felt really good! I did end up passing out when I got up to use the bathroom, but thankfully, they were watching me closely because of my history of such, and they helped me to the ground and revived me. It’s the strangest feeling waking up afterwards, like you’ve just been sleeping forever.

Anyway, I had to go through the routine of drinking LOTS of fluids. I drank a whole lot and ate dinner (salmon and veggies from Outback, thanks to my Dad & Laurin. Same thing I ate after giving birth to Jack).

So I laid in bed and we just talked and enjoyed our new baby. My mom was there the whole time and so awesome and supportive. Josh was amazing the whole day and did everything he could to support and encourage me (physically and emotionally!).

My Dad, Laurin, and my sister Erin came to meet baby Ben and brought us food and visited for a while.

We ended up leaving the birth center around midnight after I successfully was able to get to the bathroom and back without passing out.

Home

We went home and eventually got ourselves to bed. The first night was pretty rough, but my Mom came over and helped the next day, and we’ve been doing pretty well since then. Ben has been sleeping and eating so well. His first visitors at home were my mom, some of my awesome co-workers/friends, and Grandma & Grandpa Warner.

The hardest adjustment so far is for Jack. It’s hard to become a big brother and share your Mom & Dad, and get some new molars all at the same time, but grandparents help with that a lot. I’m proud of my big kid who will always be my baby.

I am so thankful for my family. And I’m so thankful for Josh who has been taking care of all three of us and is so kind and selfless. It’s so nice to have family time together and grow through this transition.

I’m so grateful my baby is here. I can’t wait to watch him grow, but I want him to stay little forever at the same time. I can’t believe how big Jack is now. I feel like we just brought him home from the hospital.

My heart is so full and I’m so grateful for two healthy babies. God’s design is so incredible, and such a glimpse of His unconditional love and the way He sees his creation. If I love my child so much without even trying, how much does God love me, or you? I’m in awe.

Thank you for your support and love throughout this journey. Can’t wait for the world to meet my sweet boy!

Amanda